“Future Ted: Kids sometimes the universe sends exactly what you asked for.”

“Timing means waiting intelligently.”

“I think that one of these days you’re going to have to find out where you want to go. And then you’ve got to start going there.”

“‎In an ideal world, no one would talk before 10 am. People would just hug, because waking up is really hard.”

“I beg young people to travel. If you don’t have a passport, get one. Take a summer, get a backpack and go to Delhi, go to Saigon, go to Bangkok, go to Kenya. Have your mind blown. Eat interesting food. Dig some interesting people. Have an adventure. Be careful. Come back and you’re going to see your country differently, you’re going to see your president differently, no matter who it is. Music, culture, food, water. Your showers will become shorter. You’re going to get a sense of what globalization looks like. It’s not what Tom Friedman writes about; I’m sorry. You’re going to see that global climate change is very real. And that for some people, their day consists of walking 12 miles for four buckets of water. And so there are lessons that you can’t get out of a book that are waiting for you at the other end of that flight. A lot of people—Americans and Europeans—come back and go, ohhhhh. And the light bulb goes on.”

“Sarcasm and compassion are two of the qualities that make life on Earth tolerable.”